The Adult’s Guide To Believing In Santa (Again)

Axolotls Exist.

Even the name looks fake—like someone just pulled up a spoonful of Alpha-Bits cereal and just went with it.

But an Axolotl isn’t a creation of the mind or a fictitious vessel for some objectively clever puns. Axolotls are real-life amphibious creatures that dwell in the lakes of Mexico and look like salamanders who front an underground punk band. 

What’s more, these resilient little swimmers have captivated scientists for centuries for their unique ability to regenerate limbs, eyes, and even parts of their brain. 

If axolotls can regrow body parts, we can rediscover our belief in Father Christmas.

Kevin McCallister Did WHAT?

In the iconic 1990 film Home Alone, 8-year-old Kevin McCallister manages to clean a 4,000-square foot mansion after a home invasion, effectively tricking his parents into believing he enjoyed a low-key two days alone. 

This wouldn’t be a noteworthy plot point if Kevin hadn’t ignited a blowtorch indoors, tarred the basement steps, hurled full paint cans from a second-floor staircase, blanketed the dining room in glue and feathers are turning Harry into a walking chicken, and crushed several glass ornaments under Marv’s bare feet. And this is to say nothing of the wintry sludge Old Man Marley tracked into the kitchen with his military-grade boots. 

Is there anything this kid can’t do? We think not.

The Eggnog Mirage.

For a couple weeks a year, Americans blissfully persuade ourselves into believing the phlegmy concoction of cream, sugar, milk, and eggs is a decadent treat worthy of $185 million of our collective cash each holiday season. 

No judgment here—a post-dinner eggnog martini is the holiday spirit version of Popeye’s spinach. But consider the bizarre prospect of bringing eggnog to a Fourth of July party. It’s only then that we realize the transformative power the holidays have on our belief systems.  

This begs the question: Why stop the believing at eggnog? 

Did We Mention Axolotls Exist?

And they have their own t-shirts?! IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

We hope this mental exercise helped open up some doorways into what’s possible, and allowed the prospect of Santa to become less fantasy, more reality. We’re never too grown to search the skies on Christmas Eve, and may we always observe the words of Tim Allen in the underrated 1994 film The Santa Clause:

“Seeing isn’t believing, believing is seeing.”